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The Official Manual · Ch. I · The Man

He's been saying it since 1974. Same flat cap. Same cardigan. Same opinions about the thermostat.

Old Man Rub is a cooling balm with CBD + CBG, in an amber glass jar with a black lid. Small batch, made in Minnesota.

Old Man Rub amber glass jar with black lid and kraft label
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OLD MAN RUB · BATCH 001No. 0001

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Batch 001 is 500 jars.
The Official Manual · Ch. II · Opening the jar

Lefty-loosey.

Amber glass. Heavy lid. Built like his toolbox.

That's the cool part.

A cooling balm. He'll call it "fine."

Read the label.

He will. Twice. Then he'll keep the jar for screws.

Close-up of the Old Man Rub amber jar: black lid, kraft label, the grandpa and the banner Back in my day, we just complained.
Ch. III · What's in the jar

Short list. He likes short lists.

Old Man Rub jar on the bench in an ice-fishing shanty, next to the wood stove
Old Man Rub jar in the basket of a golf cart
What it is
A cooling balm with CBD + CBG
Size
2 oz
Made
In small batches in Minnesota
Comes in
An amber glass jar with a black lid and a kraft label
Lab reports
Posted for every batch, starting with the first
Fig. 1 Proper application, per the Manual
123
  1. Twist. Lefty-loosey. He knows.
  2. Take a little. A little goes a long way.
  3. Rub it in. Don't make a thing of it.
Old Man Rub jar on the floor under a Christmas tree, among wrapped gifts
Ch. IV · The gift

For the man who says don't get me anything.

Get him something anyway. It fits in a stocking, sits on the workbench, and comes with its own attitude.

Save one for Dad
Ch. V · Rules of the old man

Rules he lives by.

The Old Man Rub grandpa, arms crossed, flat cap and cardigan
Ch. VI · About him

You know him.

Flat cap. Cardigan. Arms crossed since the Carter administration. He fixed it himself, he's not asking for directions, and he's fine. This jar is his.

Ch. VII · Questions he won't ask

Questions.

What is it?

A cooling balm with CBD and CBG, in a 2 oz amber glass jar.

When does it launch?

Soon. Batch 001 is 500 jars, and the list hears the date first.

Do I pay anything now?

No. Joining the list is free. Your 15% off comes launch day.

Where's it made?

In small batches in Minnesota. Lab reports are posted for every batch.

Why do you need my mobile?

For now the list asks for it. We only text you if you check the box, and you can reply STOP anytime.

Back in my day, we just complained.

Now there's a jar for that.

Save my jar. 15% off.
15% off launch dayBatch 001 is 500 jars
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