How to use a balm. Instructions he won't read.

You'd think a jar of balm doesn't need instructions. Open it, use it, close it. I thought so too, back in my day. Then I watched a grown man put a thumb-sized glob on his neck, rub his eyes and spend twenty minutes at the kitchen sink.

So here are the instructions. They're short. Read them anyway.

Before you open it

Read the label

Every jar has directions and warnings on the side. Ours sits on the back of the wrap label, under the ingredients. It takes thirty seconds. Do it once. You'll feel smarter, and you'll know what's in the jar.

Do a patch test

New balm, new skin? Put a small dab on the inside of your forearm and wait a day. If your skin gets red, itchy or blotchy, don't use it again. Everybody's skin is different. Yours is allowed to be picky.

Start with clean, dry skin

Not sure if you're holding a balm or a cream? Here's the difference. Either way, it goes on skin. Not over a cut, not over a scrape, not over a rash. Clean skin, dry it off, then go.

How to put it on

1. Twist the lid off. Lefty-loosey. If it's stuck, run it under warm water for a few seconds. Don't use a wrench. I know you want to.
2. Take a small scoop. A pea-sized amount with a clean finger. That's enough for a palm-sized patch of skin. You can always add more. You can't take it back.
3. Warm it up. Rub it between your fingertips for a few seconds. It softens and spreads easier.
4. Rub it in. Small circles, light pressure, until most of it soaks in. Shoulders, the back of the neck, the forearms after a day of raking, the feet after a long walk at the State Fair. Wherever you like the cool.
5. Lid back on. Tight. Balm dries out and picks up lint if you leave it open.

After

Wash your hands. Right now.

This is the rule people break. Cooling balms feel great on your shoulders and terrible in your eyes. Wash with soap and water as soon as you're done. Then you can rub your eyes, pick up the grandkids or put in your contacts.

If you're putting it on your hands, put it on last, after everything else. Then don't touch your face for a while.

Give it a minute before you get dressed

Let it soak in for a minute or two. A balm is mostly oils and wax. It can leave a mark on a good shirt if you rush.

Don't stack the heat

Don't put a heating pad, hot pack or tight wrap over a cooling balm. Don't hop in a hot tub right after either. Let the balm do its thing on its own.

When to skip it

• On broken skin. Cuts, scrapes, sunburn, rashes. Wait until the skin has closed up.
• Near your eyes, nose or mouth. Or anywhere you'd regret.
• On kids. It's for grown-ups. Keep the jar out of reach.
• If you're pregnant, nursing, or have a question about a condition or a medication. Ask your doctor first. That's what they're for.
• If your skin reacts. Stop using it and wash the spot with soap and water.
• If you have a drug test coming. Read our CBD + CBG explainer and talk to your employer first.

How to store it

Lid on tight. Room temperature. Out of direct sun. A balm left on the dashboard in July turns into soup. A balm left in the truck in January turns into a hockey puck. Neither one is ruined, but neither one is fun.

Keep it away from kids and pets. Amber glass is sturdy, but it's still glass, so don't keep it on the edge of the workbench where the cat walks.

When the jar's empty, wash it out and keep it. It holds screws. Ask anyone my age. We've been storing screws in old jars since before you were born.

One jar, one man, one routine

The best way to use a balm is the boring way. Same time, same spot, every day. After the shower. After the round of golf. After shoveling. Make it part of the evening, like setting the coffee maker and checking that the back door is locked. Twice.

Save a jar from Batch 001. The list gets 15% off launch day.

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